The accounts person is startled,
and says, "In what form?" and the
little old lady says, "Cash. I've got
it here in this bag..." and the accounts
person looks and, sure enough, the lady has
a big grocery bag just chock full of green
stuff with big denominations.
This is a highly unusual
event, and the accounts person excuses herself
to get the president of the bank to handle
this one. He arrives, and escorts the little
old lady to his office to handle it personally.
Once in his office, he asks
the little old lady where she got so much
money.
She says, "Gambling."
"Gambling?", he
says. "What sort of gambling?"
"Oh, I make bets with
people on all sorts of things, and I usually
win. For example, I've got $100,000 right
here that says that by noon tomorrow your
balls will be square, and I'll even give you
4:1 odds. You got $25,000 you'd be willing
to wager on that?"
The bank president is shocked
at this sort of thing coming from a sweet
little old lady, but he didn't get to be the
president of the Chase Manhattan Bank without
knowing something about money. "I suppose
I could come up with enough to cover that
sort of wager, but I wouldn't feel right taking
it from you...there's no way you can win a
bet like that!"
The little old lady just
shook the bag, and said, "I know what
I'm doing...and I can afford to lose, though
I'm not going to. Is it a bet?"
"Ok, have it your way",
said the president, and they shook hands on
it.
"See you at 11:55 tomorrow
morning", said the little old lady, and
with that she left.
Next morning at 11:55 the
little old lady arrives with a younger man
in a three-piece suit, and is escorted to
the bank president's office. The president
is a nervous wreck, though a happy one. He'd
gotten almost no sleep the night before, waking
every few minutes to feel his balls to check
for impending squareness, but nothing happened
all night. He had checked hundreds of times
that morning, but still nothing; perfectly
normal.
When the little old lady
arrived he started to relax, knowing he had
won.
"Come in, please have
a seat! Who might this gentleman be?"
said the president.
"He's my lawyer. For
a bet of this size I want to have a witness.
Any objections?"
"No, perfectly understandable",
said the president. "Well, it's now noon,
and I'm still unchanged, so I guess I win!"
he said happily.
"Not so fast!"
said the little old lady. "For a hundred
grand I want to verify things personally!
Please drop your pants."
The bank president is a bit
flustered, but agrees that in her position
he'd want proof as well, so he drops his pants.
The little old lady goes over to him and reaches
out to feel the organs in question.
"Ok, you win, here's
your $100,000," says the little old lady,
handing over a bag of bills. As she does so,
her lawyer starts banging his head against
the wall and moaning.
"What's wrong with him?"
asks the bank president.
"Oh, he's just upset.
Poor loser if you ask me. You see, I had a
bet for $1,000,000 with him that I would have
the President of the Chase Manhattan Bank
by the balls by noon today."
